Day Two - Sharing My Self-Care and Self-Love Journey for a Deeper Reason - Pig Out On Halloween Candy Guilt-Free
It’s Halloween night, so of course I’m going to pig out on halloween candy, right? But I’m going to do it guilt-free. And here’s why.
This year changed my physical and overall health tenfold. In ways I always dreamed of, and ways I didn’t know would be so good for me. Recovering from my shattered elbow and going through such intense physio put me on a path I always said I would take but never could maintain for longer than a few weeks max - committing to actually taking care of myself was the hardest thing for me to do. And this time, for months now, in ways that have become natural and exciting to me, I’ve done it. I eat so well. I work out daily and do some sort of physical activity. I get out more. I take good care of myself. And I’ve gained weight in ways you can see, and it looks good on me. Me a year ago, a few years ago, would hate to hear me say this, but shattering my elbow and my arm was the best thing for my overall health.
I needed it. I feel fantastic. I look and feel better than ever. I was underweight and struggled with eating for so long that it was having drastic negative effects on my body. For the first time in my entire adult life, I am at the best weight I could be. And tonight, when I first reached for some candy, I felt my thoughts spinning in a direction they’d never taken before. Because past me struggled to eat, but when I did, I would often binge on foods that were very unhealthy - and now I found myself wondering, doesn’t this derail me from my new way of eating? What if I keep gaining weight? What if I go back to starving/eating junk? This is unhealthy. - and had to stop myself from letting those thoughts take over.
In the past few months, there have been ample times I could have fallen off course, but I have continued to show up for myself every single day, I have made drastic changes and kept them, and I saw a side of myself I didn’t know I could be. I also know that for the first time, I am more prepared, and I have the tools. I already know what I am eating tomorrow, because I have already meal planned for the next few days; I have been to the store, and I have prepped the food. Everything I need is there and ready. My work out gear sits in its convenient place, waiting for me, and my schedule has been planned out to allow that to happen. I am a new me, and snacking tonight doesn’t change that. Plus, I want to eat the candy. My life in particular runs best on balance; I’ve learned that, and its ok to treat ourselves to the things we want.
So, new me earned this candy. (and not by stealing my kids' trick-or-treating candy; I bought it myself, thanks) But I don’t mean because I bought it.
The changes I’ve been making are ones that are solid. Sticking around. Becoming normal for me. Eating candy tonight isn’t going to change that. And I also know how to balance things out better. Candy tonight - healthy breakfast and a solid workout tomorrow.
I needed that reminder that something small isn’t the whole picture, and it wasn’t about the candy; it was about the need to continue to care for myself, and the worry that it would take me off course.
I believe in me. I believe in the new me.
And tonight on day two, I’m going to care for myself by having a little pig out on Halloween candy, guilt-free, for my self-care and self-love.
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