Hey friends. I have a book question! And one that isn't about my own books, haha.
Have you ever read this book, The Happiness Project?
I just read through the whole thing, while taking notes, in 2 days, and I feel absolutely compelled to write about it and share it with you folks!! <3 I am sooo curious if you have read this book, what you thought about it, and especially if you have ever partaken in a happiness project of your own??
I feel like this book found me, called to me if you will, at the most perfect time in my life. You see, I didn't just go out and buy this book. I didn't even set out to read it at this time in my life. This novel, The Happiness Project, has been on my shelf for a while. At least a year or two actually. I don't even know where it came from, if I picked it up at a yard sale, in a batch of books I was given, at a book trading library, if someone gave it to me...
If you have been following me a while, or ever been to my house, you know I have a big thing for books, and shelves... I have many, many floor to ceiling shelves of books. And I love them all. The problem is, over the last few years, I haven't read any of them.
Reading is one of my all time favorite past times. One of many that I haven't made any time for, real time, not a "scheduled in 20 minutes" or a past time I truly allowed myself to enjoy in a long time either. Most of my reading is motivational or self help at best.
Over the last few months I have been in different types of therapy. I've really been focused on me, my self healing, and figuring my life out. And one major thing has come to light after my diagnoses with PTSD. I have been living in non stop constant fight or flight mode in different ways for the past few years.
That's becoming easier to say out loud.
Becoming easier to accept, and see with my own eyes.
My body is filled with anxiety and stress and tension from things that aren't happening anymore, that I am no longer in danger from, that I can let go of.
My brain needs rewiring in its thought process.
The heart issues that I've been having lately, the peek of the stress and anxiety and tension in my life have been a key indicator that I need help, outside help, I need to slow down, refocus, make better plans of action for my life, and that mostly, I need to make some big changes inside of me.
As you may have read in my last blog, the heart health episode taught me that I have to start making changes NOW. Right in that moment, and forever going forward. And so, in a spur of the moment, "this is what my heart and soul need, do it say it right this second!!" I opted to spend the rest of the summer OFF.
And to me, truly, deep down in my soul, taking the summer OFF simply means freeing myself of a lot of things, expectations and demands, deadlines, and letting go of some "control" I "have" (read, don't have, just WANT) over situations I actually have no control over. I need to catch up on, or fix some lingering things, issues and problems. Catch up on a huge and always building "to do" list that I never take time for. Take some time for ME! I fucking deserve it. Take some time to realize that the ground really is secure under my feet. That I really am safe now. That my kids and I can relax.
I need to spend some time doing the things that I love. I want to focus on fixing myself from the inside out, on so many levels, in so many ways.
I NEED to allow myself to live in joy, to live in the moment, and not panic that I do not deserve the good, that at any moment it could all be taken away from me. I NEED to trust my life.
Over the last few weeks, I have noticed that this has slowly started to alter certain things in my life. Specific ways of thinking and acting, that I hadn't noticed I was doing before, but is detrimental to my health and wellbeing.
This is happening thanks to mindfulness, openness, meditation, and lots of therapy. I've begun to identify behaviors and excuses (read: avoidance) that I am doing, mostly subconsciously, that are patterns of my fight or flight life, and letting go of what no longer serves me. This has allowed me to start to reduce a significant amount of stress and start to open myself up to new experiences, a better lifestyle, memories, moments and activities with my children, and with myself. Things that I love, that my soul craves, that I always wanted to say yes to but otherwise would not have said yes to.
Reading is an activity that I started picking up for myself again. I started alternating between reading books I really long to catch up on, and other books on my shelves that I want to read, just haven't yet.
The Happiness Project was a completely random choice. I had never heard of it, or the movement before. I thought it would be sort of a motivational inspirational read (more of a mind read than a pleasure read) but I was wrong.
I don't even know how I didn't know about The Happiness Project before, I mean, it isn't new, but it was exactly what I needed right now. This book had me laughing and crying, taking notes, soaking it all up. And soon, once I move, I'll be starting a happiness project of my own, working on my own life commandments and life truths. I am so eager for me, for happy, for more. For inside of me.
So now my friends, if you haven't read this book, I highly encourage you to do so.
If you have read it, please!! Share with me your thoughts!!
I find it amazing how I unintentionally started my own happiness project this summer, in a small way, and now I'm inspired to do it through my entire life.
Of course, after I take the summer off to be happy!! :)
All my love,
Lady Mack xo