Hey friends! I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend, or, a wonderful day, whenever you happen to be reading this!
I have been toying around with this idea for a blog for a long time. A really long time. I debated posting it because I know there are many other blogs out there like this one, with dos, and don'ts, and the struggles of online dating, but I've decided to put a twist on mine and do this a little differently, over a series of blogs.
Because I have had some really... unique... experiences in life. I have always been that person that complete strangers open up and tell me their craziest life stories to. People very rarely have a filter around me, even if they want to. I have heard some wild things about people, people that I didn't / don't even know, and that has definitely filtered into other aspects of my life. Like dating.
Because I am a single woman in this new year, 2019, and I have been putting myself out there online. And not just now, I have before in the past too. And I feel like these two things have combined to bring me some of the craziest, wildest and worst messages and experiences with online dating.
THE WORST. So bad that it's consistently sparked this idea, over and over again, that I need to write a blog about it, or a few, and share some of these messages. Firstly, it will be a great example of what you guys DON'T want to be doing if you're online dating. But secondly, I want you guys to see what men are REALLY saying to women, strangers online, who have in NO WAY put themselves out there for anything other than actual, meaningful dating. These are not messages sent over a hook up site, or messages sent to a profile looking for straight sex. These are messages from seemingly very normal profiles, to women looking for someone real, and someone serious.
Never mind the fact that some of us women have our own personal struggles to begin with outside of internet dating. Some of us women have recently had to deal with a shitty ex, an abusive ex, some stalker loser from the bank, or from school who messages us from 16 different accounts, maybe we've recently been heart broken, or heart broken one too many times, maybe some of us already have walls we are struggling to take down. We all have our past, things we don't put on display, shit we are working through and healing from.
Some of the messages I have received, and I know my friends have received, would take a stable, strong, mentally secure grown ass woman and have her running for the hills, grabbing each and every single brick that she can find along the way to built the biggest fucking wall you've ever seen in your life behind her as she goes.
Never mind what those messages are doing to women who are scared to put themselves out there, who are nervous about dating again, or worried they will get their heart broken.
So men, if you're online dating, have a little give with the women you are messaging. Give her time to view your profile and respond when she wants, without badgering her. Give her space if she doesn't respond at all, and don't go stalking her social media to find her in other ways. And please, stop being a pushy creep. You have no idea what kind of awful messages or unasked for dick pic she opened just before yours.
And never, ever, ever, send the type of messages to women that you're going to find in my follow up blogs. Ever. If you do, I will find out, screen shot it, and add it to my blog so we can all laugh at you. Because we do that. Yes we do ;)
And men, yes, I know women are crazy too, and send an abundance of WAY inappropriate out there messages, so please, feel free to send some my way, maybe I can do a women's DON'T blog with them :)
Oh, and one last thing. I LOVE love. I love romance. I love men. I love women. I love dating. I am open minded and accepting and happy hearted. I am NOT bitter lol. I just can't help but share some of the scarier, crazier side of online dating. Maybe it'll help some people make some better choices as they search online for the love of their life.
Stay tuned friends!
Thanks for reading, and send me those messages if you've got them, men and women alike!
Author Carissa McIntyre xoxo
Yes, that's a message I have personally received. I will ALWAYS edit out contact information, but the messages... they're 110% real.