Like An Inflatable Butt Plug - Deflated, Unused, Not Having Fun

Do you know how much I have cried lately? A lot.

Most of those reasons have been REALLY happy, don’t worry, although, as always, I have had some ugly shit to cry about too, what else is new.

But man, I have cried some happy tears.

FINALLY creating and launching my sex games (the first of a few I am creating) and launching my online Love Shack adult boutique has seriously opened up a flood gate of emotions for me, and I have been more than willing to let them flow free.

I have been sitting on this idea, on this thought, on this spark, forever. I have DREAMED about this launch. I had a vivid dream once about me going LIVE in my private facebook group, giving detailed descriptions of a set of handcuffs and how amazing they were, and then I saw those handcuffs for sale wholesale the next damn day. I bought them. Then I did nothing with them.

I created the first draft of my first sex game over 2 years ago. I had the whole thing planned and mapped out. Then I second guessed being able to do the work myself, or if I could afford to delegate it, if I could trust to delegate it, if anyone would even buy it.. and so I let that creation sit on my shelf in my office… for 2 years.

I feel most alive, most passionate about my life’s work and what I do, I feel RIGHT, when I am focused on writing sex, or teaching or learning about sex ed, erotica, toys, sex, fun, when I am helping people connect, feel alive, feel passionate, feel chemistry, come into themselves.

Without this, sitting on my dreams, not chasing everything that lights me up, has left me feeling empty.

Like an inflatable butt plug, deflated, unused, and not having fun.

Now, I feel like something has filled me up. Haha. Common. I went there and you knew I was going somewhere with this when you saw the title.

I feel like I am me, I am chasing the right things.

Pushing myself to chase another dream wasn’t scary this time. No what if’s, or what then’s, not right now, not in this moment, and for that I am so proud of me. I am learning to jump into what calls me with both feet, trusting the process, trusting myself, and I am learning that I will always win, or I will always learn, and in the end, I win anyway, because I am LOVING my life and who I am and what I’m doing.

I have spent so much of my life lost. Wondering. Imaging. Writing my erotica changed my life, gave me purpose. Getting my education and my shit together so that I could become a coach and open my own boutique is helping me blossom. And I am here for it.

Life is short. I know this so well. One day, these chances we have, these choices we get to make, this part of our lives will be behind us, and this path will be no more.

So chose your big dreams. Life is happening no matter what. Time is passing no matter what. Make the fucking most of it.

Don’t let what ifs, unsures, scared what thens leave you empty.

Don’t become an inflatable butt plug, deflated, unused and not having fun.

Try different ones. Experiment with different things. Figure out what works. Go slow. Go fast.

Fill yourself.

Just make sure, you use lube 😉


And because I can, shameless plug to my own… butt plugs.


Much love friends,

As always, thanks from the bottom of my heart for being here.

Lady Mack Xo,

Author Carissa McIntyre




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