Once upon a time, I thought self care was bubble masks and face baths. No, wait, that’s not right.
Anyways, I’ve since learned it was a computer chair. A gaming chair actually.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me back it up a bit for you.
Hey friends, and welcome back! In typical Lady Mack fashion, I am, oh, I don’t know, months behind schedule in posting another blog, so of course, what better topic to dive right back into than self care, one of my favorite things, and something I have been working so hard on lately.
One of the things that has come up for my again and again while I have looked deeper into taking care of myself than just soaking in a tub with some bubblies on a Saturday night, is that I have some serious body / health issues that seem to keep coming up again, and again. Specifically issues that involve pain, chiropractic trips and massage therapy, and not the good fun kind but the real deep fixing problems that actually hurt for a while but feel better after kind.
I’m hoping that if you’re reading this blog, you know who I am and a little about my story, but if not, the super short condensed version is that I’m a single mom of 3 who went through some traumatic shit in her life, and since 2016 I’ve been writing erotica novels and published my first in 2017 (I’ve since self published 6 and I am currently working hard on 2 more), plus I do some public speaking, blogs, workshops, I’m slowly dabbling into sex ed and really anything else that interests me that I can get my hands into, haha.
And in all that time, I have worked from a home office, sometimes my kitchen table, sometimes my couch, but mostly my office “area”. And in that office, from earlier than 2016, but for sake of my story here, when I started writing Cuffed again in 2016 and self published it in February 2017 until September 2020, I did all of that writing, working, poured my blood sweat and tears into my work, while sitting in an ancient, broken, hard backed, covered in old stickers wooden chair.
And no, it’s not like it’s the worlds worst, uncomfiest chair, but, it’s really not super amazing at all, and not for sitting for sometimes entire days, eating my lunches at my desk because I just really wanted to get another book out asap.
I cannot tell you the amount of times in the past 2 years since seeing a professional for my body, that I have had to have my ribs and other upper body area bones put back into place because they keep popping out because I’ve been all hunched over willy nilly working away on my passion and my dreams.
I wouldn’t trade what I do for the world. I love what I do. But it was getting to the point where I was piling blankets and pillows on the chair to make it even semi ok to sit on, I was dreading spending long periods of time in my office, which was something I used to love doing, and I was draping blankets over the back of it so that it couldn’t always be seen when I was trying to be professional during a zoom call.
Then one night, literally the same evening of a day that I had seen my chiro and just had my body put back together, I was sitting on a zoom call with multiple other people, and I was desperately trying to get comfortable. I was already convinced that one of my ribs had dislocated again, and I kept shifting around, sometimes even not realizing it, trying to find a way that I could sit with relatively no pain for an hour.
A private message popped up from a dear friend of mine, we call each other our business besties, and she asked if I was ok, in regards to the way I was shifting around on my chair and leaning my back to the side. She was sitting there on her end of the camera just watching me wiggle and worm around in pain.
That night made me sit back and start thinking about WHY I’d been putting off a new chair and what was really bothering me. A new computer chair felt like a silly purchase because I wasn’t worth it and my kids need things and there is nothing wrong with the chair I am sitting on.
Wow. Pretty harsh things to think, I realized, considering it wasn’t just a random kitchen chair I was thinking about replacing, something used seldom for a short period of time, but literally something I sit in and work in every single day of my life. I started to realize it was a lot like someone who works a hard, outdoor construction job wearing sandals to work, or someone who fishes for a living showing up every day with a branch and some string.
The more I work on not just my own self care, but for my children and our lives and my workshops geared towards helping others with their self care and self love, I am constantly being reminded of all the many, many ways, some very straight forward and some unconventional and outside of the box, that we can take care of ourselves to make our lives that much better.
I did some research and read a ton of reviews and asked around about chairs, and I’m so glad to say that in September I finally caved and purchased an office chair, a gamer chair actually, and it has been the best office purchase I have made since I bought the very first big box of my erotica novels. It's a Bella, it vibrates, haha, and I highly recommend checking out their chairs if you're looking for one. Nope, not in anyway endorsed, wouldn't that be nice, just passing on something I love.
And I really do LOVE this chair. It feels so good to sit in and work from and guess what? My back problems and poppy snappy rib issues have decreased significantly!
Plus, I don’t have to cover it with a star wars blanket so that no one thinks I’m a poorly ol lady who can’t even afford a simple office chair. Haha. I kid. Sort of. But I still get cozy with my Star Wars blanket when I'm working away.
Today, I challenge you to start thinking about your self care outside of the box.
Is there something that frustrates you, challenges you, bothers you, or just simply isn’t working for you in your life? Once, when I was always working on the go and my phone was constantly dying, someone bought me a portable charger pack, and it made my life a million times easier.
Maybe it’s a more functional bag, something that’s versatile for your creativity, something that doubles for work and life, maybe it’s just a fresh coat of paint on your bedroom walls because every single time you walk in that room you see ripped up wallpaper and dingy colours you hate and it makes you depressed and want to cry.
Find an area of your life that if you made a change, would make a significant pick me up in your life. That’s your self care tip for the day. Mine was a computer chair. What’s yours?
Thanks for reading friends. Thank you for being here, and sharing your time with me.
All my love,
Author Carissa McIntyre,
Lady Mack Xo